Grief Isn't Just About Death: Understanding the Many Losses We Carry

Grief therapy for pregnancy loss, motherhood, and life transitions — available virtually across Ontario and in person in Port Perry.

When people search online for grief support, they’re often asking questions like:

• “Why do I feel so sad when no one died?”

• “Is it normal to grieve after pregnancy loss years later?”

• “Do I need therapy for grief, or should I be over this by now?”

  
  

If you’ve found yourself here, there’s a good chance you’re carrying a loss that hasn’t been fully seen — or supported.

As a therapist who works with grief and loss, and as someone who has personally experienced multiple forms of grief, I want to say this clearly:

Grief is not only about death.

And if your grief feels complicated, quiet, or hard to explain — you’re not alone.

What Is Grief? (A Therapist’s Definition)

Grief is the emotional, physical, and psychological response to loss.

Loss can include:

• The death of a loved one

• Pregnancy or infant loss

• The loss of identity after becoming a parent

• The loss of health, certainty, or safety

• Parenting a child with medical needs or neurodivergence

• The life you imagined but didn’t get to live

  
  

Grief is not a weakness. It’s not something you “should be over.” And it doesn’t follow a predictable timeline.

Many people experience grief long after the world expects them to move on.

Types of Grief That Are Often Overlooked

Pregnancy Loss and Reproductive Grief

Pregnancy loss can create a deep sense of grief that is often invisible to others.

There may be:

• No shared memories others recognize

• No rituals or acknowledgment

• Pressure to “try again” or stay positive

Yet the attachment was real.The hopes were real.And the loss is real.

In therapy, I often hear clients say:

“I don’t know why this still hurts.”

The truth is — unresolved grief doesn’t expire. It waits for safety.

Grieving the Loss of Yourself in Motherhood

Motherhood can be deeply meaningful and deeply disorienting.

Many mothers grieve:

• Their independence

• Their former identity

• Their body

• Their career or sense of purpose

• The ease they once had

This grief is rarely talked about because it conflicts with the narrative that motherhood should be purely fulfilling.

But loving your children does not erase the losses that came with becoming a mother.

Both can exist at the same time.

Parenting Neurodivergent Children or Children With Medical Needs

Parenting children with neurodivergence or medical complexity often involves ambiguous loss — a grief without a clear ending.

This can include grieving:

• The parenting experience you imagined

• A sense of predictability or safety

• The energy and capacity you once had

  
  

Alongside deep love, pride, and advocacy, there can be sadness, guilt, and exhaustion — emotions many parents feel they’re not “allowed” to name.

Therapy offers a space where all of these feelings are welcome.

Why Grief Can Feel So Lonely

Many of these experiences fall under what therapists call disenfranchised grief — grief that isn’t openly recognized or supported by society.

There may be:

• No condolences

• No understanding

• No permission to talk about it

  
  

So people learn to cope quietly.

Over time, unprocessed grief may show up as:

• Anxiety or overwhelm

• Emotional numbness

• Persistent sadness

• Irritability or burnout

• Feeling disconnected from yourself or others

  
  

This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

It means your grief hasn’t had a place to land.

Do I Need Therapy for Grief?

This is one of the most common questions people ask.

You might benefit from grief therapy if:

• Your loss still feels heavy or unresolved

• You feel stuck or emotionally shut down

• Grief is affecting your relationships or daily functioning

• You feel guilty for grieving something others minimize

• You’re tired of carrying this alone

  
  

Grief therapy isn’t about “moving on.”

It’s about learning how to carry grief with more compassion, meaning, and support.

What Grief Therapy Looks Like

In grief therapy, we focus on:

• Gently exploring the losses you’ve experienced

• Making sense of emotions that may feel confusing or contradictory

• Honouring what was lost without being consumed by it

• Supporting identity shifts after loss

• Helping you reconnect with yourself and your life

  
  

As someone who has personally experienced loss — including pregnancy loss, family loss, identity shifts in motherhood, and the complexities of parenting children with additional needs — I bring both clinical training and lived understanding into this work.

You don’t need to explain or justify your grief here.

Grief Therapy in Ontario: Virtual and In-Person Support

Our practice offers:

• Virtual grief therapy across Ontario

• In-person therapy in Port Perry and surrounding communities

Whether you’re seeking support from home or prefer in-person sessions, therapy can be a space to slow down, breathe, and be held in your experience.

You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

If you’re reading this and feeling a quiet sense of recognition — a moment of “this explains something I haven’t been able to name” — that matters.

Your grief deserves care. Your losses deserve acknowledgment. And you deserve support that feels attuned, gentle, and human.

If you’re considering individual therapy for grief and loss, I invite you to book a consultation. We can talk about what you’ve been carrying and whether working together feels like the right next step. There’s no pressure.

Just a place to begin.